O THE HUMANITY!

Several things have affected my life this past week. First and foremost, my "teener's" TV show, "Pretty Little Liars", has jumped the shark! Not that any part of the plot was plausible, but an old house built like a maze! Spooky old lady! Parties in graveyards! And those girls! Are they rich? They wear a different outfit everyday and sometimes twice a day. But the silliest thing of all was Ally using one hand to dig herself out and survive being buried alive Give me a break. There should be a warning at the start - This show has parts that are ridiculous and require parental observation.

And to top it all off Ezra is a bad guy! I am afraid I will not be watching anymore.

Secondly, I have decided to retire for sure. It will take a few months, but I am no longer accepting new clients or new files from current clients. It will be nice to lose that albatrossl

Finally, as I wrote in my last post, I was put on L-dopa and was warned I could expect to have nausea and/or some light headiness. I faithfully took the recommended dosage and did experience a slight sickness which disappeared in a couple of days. That was OK but the light headiness! Well, that was an understatement. There were times I floated like the Hindenburg and then suffered the same fate. That little pill was making me worse, but I persisted and, today I felt OK. It ]s hard to believe that was only about a week or 10 days ago that I started.

I hold onto the axiom that persistence conquers everything.

Oh, Oh, I just had a fleeting moment of doubt.

How high's my problem mama? 6 feet high and risin'

I will get to the PD after I get this off my chest. We bought a house that is suitable for a PWD - ie - it is a bungalow. It has all been re-modeled into a modern, open-spaced, window filled area. In the basement there is a large family room, bathroom and bedroom. Here, only the bathroom was made current but the other spaces (except for a large storage space) had new carpeting but an older ceiling. My wife had the ceiling and its lighting re-done because there was not enough light so she added 10 or so pot lights and it looked great.

Before buying the house, we hired an expert to inspect it. He did a relatively good job, so we entered the deal with eyes wide open. We knew we would have to put some money into the place and we did; but, we didn't get around to replacing the crumbling window wells. You know what it's like. It's the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer and we live on the prairies, which are hot and dry. No worrying about window wells. The window wells will be repaired before winter, before they fill with snow. The house was perfect. We knew all its warts but we happily bought it and moved in. It was all we expected; not only was it nicely renovated, it was located in a safe, friendly neighborhood and it would serve me weill, if I deteriorated to the point where stairs became a problem. We were happy. All was copasetic.

That is....until the day that the rains came down! torrential rains! on the Canadian prairies. We are used to hard rain during our summer when a convection thunder storm passes through but they last 10 or 15 minutes and pass on. This was a 1 in 100 year rainfall and our window wells filled up with water pushing against ancient windows that eventually began to leak and the leak became a waterfall. We tried our best to stop the invasion but to good end. Try stopping Niagara Falls. You get the picture? By the end of the rainfall, the carpet was wreaked and I was a PD wreck! The tremor in my right side was beginning to wander into my left. It settled down when we decided there was nothing we could do to stop the onslaught and we will get those window wells fixed and the windows replaced before summer ends.

The PD feeling of weakness was now in my left hand but no tremor...yet.

Coincidentally, I had an appointment with my neuro who prescribed L-dopa in addition to my other pills. Well, drug seemed not to do too much and oddly when I started taking them, my balance seemed to get worse. I wobble sometimes and yesterday I went for a long walk, the last 20 minutes of which were horrible. My right leg was not co-operating at all. I got in an argument with my gray matter. I would instruct my brain to rid me of this feeling of vertical vertigo and would get the response, "Stop yammering little man, I am the brains of this outfit and will do as I please." Try as I might, I could not get my right foot to stop scraping the ground. I tried all the tricks to no avail. I would stumble like a sailor three sheets to the wind. The last 200 meters took a good 10 minutes because now I was listing to the right and would have fallen but for the fact that the grounds of most backyards that abut the sidewalk are surrounded by 6 foot high fences which I used to stop a fall, which happened a couple of times.

I got home, sat on the front steps to get rejuvenated. After 5 minutes, I stood up and my brain took over again. I stumbled, grabbed at a vertical pole, but I was too far gone. I fell off the stoop face-first into my lawn. No harm done except my dignity was damaged. I got up, dusted myself off and went to my home office. I wasn't going let the bastard PD get me down. In the words of Michael J. Fox....

I have no choice about whether or not I have Parkinson's. I have nothing but choices about how I react to it. In those choices, there's freedom to do a lot of things in areas that I wouldn't have otherwise found myself in.

This, That, and the Other Thing

I saw the neurologist a couple of days ago. My only real complaint was stiffness. He prescribed"Apo-levocarb", which is Canadian speak for "levodopa-carbidopa" Elsewhere in the world it is "Sinemet". At least I think that is correct. I have been taking the medication for the past three days with no noticible change. I guess I have to let it build up. All in all, I haven't progressed very far along the deterioration trail since our last visit. Doctor says I am still looking good. At least I think that is what he said. He is a bit of a low-talker, like me.

There are ghosts in my house. I have been getting those annoying, fortunately fleeting, hallucinations out of the corner of my eye. They are more of a "feeling" thing - you know - "I feel a presence" but the feeling comes with a non-existent, never persistent, image. My latest visitor popped up a few minutes ago. I believe it was a well-dressed lady about to pour something. I really didn't "see" anything but I "felt" the image. I am exhausted and I think that is probably what causes me to "see-feel" things as my mind begins to wander. Surely I am not on the path to the cuckoos nest type facility; however, all the talk about baby boomers and MS, ALS, and Parkinson's, makes my wonder from time to time. The number of victims of one of those diseases is increasing rapidly as the boomers age. Where will they go? There are not enough facilities. Well, no facility for me! I am determined to remain intellectually active. I will not slip into the darkness of dimentia. Not me! Not ever!

In the meantime, "Would you like me to decipher a Rorshach for you?"

I wish to write something sensible, but I know not how

God, could I be any stupider? Listen PWP make sure you don't mix your medicine with alcohol if you don't know what will be the result of the mixture. I know that! I have written about it earlier. Alcohol and amantadine just fit so nicely, they can form a cabal against you and take your struggle with PD to another, different level.

We all know that PD can wreak havoc with your circadian rhythm (if you are lucky enough to have one). That's why some posters to forums are posting in the wee hours of the morning. Well, mixing booze and amantadine can destroy sleep entirely. Hopefully not for long.

With the help of zopoclone, I get fairly decent sleeps; although, my usual wake up time is around 4:30. For the 5 or 6 hours before arising, a nuclear bomb could not wake me. I was going along very well..until..my brother and his wife came to visit and treated us to a classy dinner. I always enjoy being wih them and the laughter coming from our table always adds to the evening. My brother and I seem to always get into an Oliver and Hardy game and he usually wins. This time he talked me into a champagne/gin combo along with a few glasses of white wine. My wife and I got home, got into bed and started a mini netflix marathon during which I was into and out of consciousness, I was so tired. It came time to hit the hay but wait....I had to take my medication, amantadine being one of them. Within 15 minutes, I went from exhaustion to hyper activity and, it lasted all night. I got not one second of sleep and finally gave up trying at 4AM when I went to my office. Even 15mg of zopoclone didn't help and as I type this, at 4pm the next day, I am still wide awake.

How could I have been so stupid. I did what I preach PWP should not do. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I never let common sense and knowledge get in the way of my stupidity.

In the immortal words of Frank Zappa, “There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.”

It is now 5PM and I am a little sleepy. There is always that four-letter word .... hope.

I am the Lord of the Dance said he.

I saw, on TV, that somebody was going to research the effects of dancing on the progression of PD. I have heard that it is the best exercise for PWP.

Hhhmmm. I would rather trim my nose hair with a weed wacker than get up and dance.

Of course having 2 left feet has not always the case. In my 20's, young and single, I danced up a storm. A perfect Fred Astaire. I had moves he could only dream of. For some curious reason, rhythm only came to me after the 10th beer. I felt cool and I knew I looked cool. But, sober the next day, reality would arrive and Robert Burns would sneak into my brain:

"O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!

But, the DWP (Dancers with parkinson's), tout the benefits of dance. Who am I to argue? Maybe I will give it a shot and try some solo Watusi before going public. That should be sufficient motive to remain stationary. There is a better chance that you will see me being eaten by a shark on the Canadian prairies than you will ever see me dancing; unless, I have imbibed. Concerned for my dignity, I think I will stick to my exercise regime and leave dance to those who have the moves. Anyway, here are 10 reasons why PWP benefit from Dance:

• Dance develops flexibility and instills confidence.
• Dance is first and foremost a stimulating mental activity that connects mind to body.
• Dance breaks isolation.
• Dance invokes imagery in the service of graceful movement
• Dance focuses attention on eyes, ears and touch as tools to assist in movement and balance.
• Dance increases awareness of where all parts of the body are in space.
• Dance tells stories.
• Dance sparks creativity.
• The basis of dance is rhythm.
• The essence of dance is joy

Some of these reasons seem to be a little.....well, you know what. But, if you are "into it", go ahead and dance the night away. You have my permission but, as somebody said, someone watching you who can't hear the music, will think you have gone insane.

By the way, hits have passed the 25,000 mark and I had my first hits this week from Iraq and Ukraine where I hope the troubles are resolved soon. Peace be to you and yours.

I'd rather be a hammer than a nail.....

Went for my walk this morning and encountered 4 teenage skaters, skating down the middle of the street, talking loudly at the speed of light and trying to sound like Charlie Manson. They had no adjectives except the f-word. Come to think of it, the f-word was also used as a verb when one told another to do something that is anatomically impossible. Did I react? No, I put my ear buds in and listened to Billy Joel. I was somewhat nervous, until they passed without showing a scintilla of interest in me. A touch of paranoia, maybe? They were just kids living large. But what were they up to at 5AM?

Paranoia is a symptom of Parkinson's, which should come as no surprise, after all we members of the PD tribe have brains that are not in great shape. But, paranoia can occur in ordinary people too. A good friend of mine recalls walking through a field on a dark, dark night, when she heard a noise behind her. There were teenage boys on the same path. She began to get nervous as they got closer and her paranoia got the best of her. She pulled out a pocket knife and turned quickly. One of the boys saw the knife and yelled "It's a crazy woman with a knife!! RUN!". That story always makes me smile.

Back to Parkinson's delusions. Delusions are very common in people with parkinson's. I read somewhere that 2 out 3 victims will suffer from momentary, but not troubling, hallucinations out of the corner of their eye (see earlier posts - I have had a few). This condition may become more severe with age.

Delusions are usually of a common theme, typically of spousal infidelity. Other themes are often paranoid in nature (such as thinking that people are out to steal from one’s belongings, or to harm or place poison on their food, or substitute their Parkinson medications, etc.) Because they are paranoid in nature, they can be more threatening and more immediate action is often necessary, compared to visual hallucinations (Zahodne and Fernandez 2008a; Zahodne and Fernandez 2008b; Fernandez 2008; Fernandez et al. 2008; Friedman and Fernandez 2000). It is not uncommon that patients actually call 9-1-1 or the police to report a burglary or a plot to hurt them. See Okun article "

As for me, I ain't afraid of no PD. Instead, I am trying to visualize paranoia as a skill, but I don't seem to be developing exemplary credentials. You see, I am a little frightened that I may be wrong.