Free Fairness

I have a tendency to drift off into a world of fairness, as in "Why me? Life isn't fair." Then, I realize that the definition of "fairness" is not mine to own. Fairness is determined by outside forces, climate, vulnerability, custom, culture, susceptibility and perhaps even God (if a deity exists in your catalog of woes). Bad things can happen to good people. The universe is not interested in your doubts and fears and is indifferent in determining your future, fair or unfair. We live, we die, and there is little we can do to change the inevitable. Between the alpha and the omega we exist in a battle between the good and the bad things that determine that existence.

What a bleak picture! It is dark and depressing and fortunately, I don't occupy it very often, but a little angst every so often helps to write poetry and poetry is my sanctum sanctorum

For example, I was wallowing in self-pity when i wrote this poem, my vision of life. When I was finished writing, I liked the result. I had my poetic-high and I was ready to take on the world.

There is a gate with no fence
But it's shut tight and locked
So I stand on the outside and wait
My life is a thread cocooning the lock
But the clock in the yard's running late

And that clock has its hands on the gate.

How is it, given our prognosis, that not all PWP suffer from depression! Some do, others do not.

Depression can be a fact of life for some PWP. It can be depression brought on by being tagged with PD or the clinical depression that, for some PWP, is a symptom of PD. I have never been depressed (touch wood) but I have seen it and it ain't pretty. The advice of the experts is to exercise. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and suffer the joy of running, weight training, walking, swimming. You know the drill.

Good advice, but what if you are barefoot?

I attended a lecture a few decades ago in which the lecturer, a distinguished professor from Syracuse, advised that if you have a need to exercise, but would rather be sedentary, drink a bottle of coke. Your blood sugar will shoot up and when it does, within a half hour, get moving and that liquid motivator will last beyond your blood-sugar-high.

I imagine there are better ways of obtaining the energy to get moving, but they won't taste as good.

Whatever is your motivator/motivation, just do it; exercise, then exercise some more and heed the words of Socrates who wrote:

It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable

Take ownership of your body and keep it tuned up and you will be amazed at how it responds, but don't bother complaining that you don't deserve having PD. ("It is so unfair"). You may as well be howling at the moon.

Raise your hands if you like exercising

I don't like it too much. In fact, I hate the thought of it but always makes me feel better when I am done, but nevertheless, I was going to cut back, then I read the following, reposted by a fellow PWP in his blog, Parkinson's in the PEG:

Results showed that habitual exercisers had an increased release of dopamine compared with sedentary patients. They also had greater activation of ventral striatum during the MRI reward task. Their apathy and bradykinesia scores were also lower than sedentary patients.

These results suggest that exercise is associated with improved motor and non-motor functions in Parkinson’s patients, which is likely linked to exercise-enhanced dopamine release.

“Although it appears that exercise plays a role in the clinical outcome of subjects with PD, future randomized control trials are needed to determine the cause-effect relationship between exercise and enhanced DA [dopamine] release, response to anticipation of reward, and clinical outcomes,” the researchers wrote. “Future studies should also investigate other potential mechanisms of benefit from exercise,” they added.

I immediately went for the treadmill and bicycle (30+6 minutes) followed by 10 minutes of Gi-Gong then 15 minutes of chair stretching and finally weights and medicine ball until I could not take more.

I am back sweat pack! Thanks Gary.

AND THE BLOG GOES ON

TADA!

drum roll please

100,038 PAGE VIEWS

Now, I know that doesn't mean 100,038 visitors, but I still say that represents a lot of people reading the blog.  I hope it has been of some use to you.  I intend to keep writing.

Time, time, time, see what's become of me??

Putting on socks is turmoil; Pulling up pants is taxing and those first steps in the morning are tragic.

This is my daybreak routine.

Even getting out of bed is a comedy of errors. Once up, I do about 20 minutes of stretching, enough to help me remain upright, followed by a half hour on the bike or treadmill.

You long-time readers will recognize a significant decrease in the amount of exercise; almost cut in half.

There are reasons for this dilution.

1. I hurt my shoulder in boxing and I had to cut out weights and take it very easy while jabbing.
2. I had to stop walking, with or without poles, due to balance issues
3. I liked not being able to exercise. You see, I am bit OC and had I tried to keep up the usual routine, I eventually would have burned out and quit altogther
4. I am a young 72, but not that young! I feel 25 but, unfortunately, the time-tide rules. The past as a percentage of your life grows while the future gets smaller and smaller until it disappears. I am not 25 and my future is destined to bring me down, every muscle weakened by its passage. I am weaker now than last year!
5. What do you expect? I have the shaking palsy!

But, while I sound depressed, I am not. My symptoms are far less onerous compared to what they should be entering my 9th year since diagnosis.

Time, like the fog*, comes on little cat feet and is quietly and quickly passing us by.

Time is really just the passage of events and PWP should make their events positive and memorable.

Lesson learned. Positive thinking and a little exercise is what keeps me going but I may face a future event that will test me and my principles greatly. You will know if it happens.

Stay tuned.

*Carl Sandberg, "Fog"

please help me, I'm falling'

I flew to Toronto and back and on both flights I was twitchy inside and I must have been outside as well. How do I know? I know because someone offered to help me each way. I accepted with thanks.

I feel unbalanced and slow and it must show. I find that humans will go out of their way to lend a hand to the weak, helping lift a bag into a shuttle bus, helping to lift a bag into the overhead and offering their seat to the obviously tired and aging man.

I am frequently off balance. No falls yet, touch wood; but, I must take special care when using stairs (up & down). A handrail is an absolute necessity.

I had a vivid dream last night, I was speedskating on the 400m track. I was on the back 200 and I could feel my speed. The wind on my face was cold and real and the sound of the skate blades cutting the ice provided the music for the night. I awoke disappointed.

I have now seen 2 videos wherein a person exhibiting the worst symptoms of PD has seen those symptoms disappear when

1. riding a bike
   
2. skating
   
3. dancing.

These can't be coincidences. There must be an answer to the question "why?" The dragons in the fairytales can be beaten and so can PD. It is only a matter of time.