Let me take you back a few hours. It is 2AM, that time in the morning after I have completed my 4 - hour sleep. I will get another hour, interrupted, but it is dicey, broken by the need to urinate. Each time I get out of bed is a drama. I can't just swing my legs off the bed and stand up. That would be too easy. I have to do a half roll to my knees on the floor with my head and arms still on the mattress. Rest a minute or two awaiting the time I am able to use the bed as a support while I overcome the lost energy of the night and will my body into a standing position.
Yesterday, I went through the routine, except my arms were so weak, I lost my support and ended up on the floor. I could not get upright. I struggled for about 5 minutes to right myself and might still be there had I not noticed one of my nordic poles lying on the floor. I managed to pull it to me and use it as an instrument to steady myself by climbing it (hand over hand)to a somewhat bent stance, all the while comparing my situation to that of the old lady in the commercial who falls and mutters something---- I forget exactly what, and I forget what she was promoting; "beef" I think, and somehow the phrase, "and I can't get up" gets worked into the ad. It was amusing at first but soon got old.
That is the only time I have experienced helplessness. Today, I feel strong. Let's hope there is never a repeat of the incident. All I have to say is "Bite me, PD".
When I wake up each morning, I make a choice. In spite of the PD attempts to depress me, I choose the positive over the negative and I shall continue to make that choice until someone, somewhere. finds the cure.
To paraphrase Wayne Gretzky, "90% of how you conquer life's absurdities is mental, while the remaining half is physical."
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