<h1>Being Alive and Dead at the same time</H1>

I was getting only 3 - 4 hours of sleep each night; now, I am getting 6. Why? What has changed? The only thing different in my life is the pill I am taking for the caffeine study so, either the caffeine or the sugar pill placebo is the cause. Who knows. All I know is that I wake up feeling pretty rested. Too bad it doesn't last long. I am soon exhausted, but in a different way.

The type of exhaustion I am talking about arrives around 2 in the afternoon and it cannot be cured by sleep. It is dangerous and embarrassing.

Yesterday I went to a lecture on three topics (1) the role of the mortgage broker (2) Changes to various Acts (3)the use of a power of attorney in dealing with land. I had to attend as part of my continuing education. It began at 1pm. The panel chairman gave a few remarks which I enjoyed but by the end of his remarks, exhaustion begins to settle into my body. It is as if somebody is filling me up with water - the tiredness begins in my lower legs and starts moving up my body until I am full. About half way into the mortgage broker's presentation, I was all-consumed with exhaustion, fighting to stay awake and I mean that literally. My eyes would momentarily blank out and I would suffer one of those head shakes that everyone suffers when overtired and trying to stay awake. Consequently, I heard nothing about mortgages and what little I did hear, I did not understand. I told myself to go home, but I was worried I might fall asleep at the wheel, so I stayed. I suffered through an interesting discussion on the Acts and just as the speaker was closing, as suddenly as it had come, exhaustion left me. I was wide awake for a particularly interesting and entertaining presentation on powers of attorney. I heard it all and even stayed for the question period.

This mid afternoon tiredness freaks me out. I decided to research the problem and discovered...I had read it all before. However, the best description is still found in the Fox Foundation and bears repeating:

One of Parkinson’s more insidious symptoms is fatigue. This is not your garden variety bone-tired. This is fatigue on a cellular level. Your body is working overtime to accomplish the simplest of tasks: Taking a shower, answering the phone, pouring orange juice. In addition, you may be coping with the combination of possible cognitive problems knows as "Parkinson's apathy". These problems include difficulty initiating projects, inability to follow complex instructions, short-term memory loss and difficulty in switching gears midstream.

Now do you get the picture? My reality is a continuous annoyance!