"Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure." (Ambrose Bierce)

Right.

Now then.

I am afraid I may have to brand myself a moron. It's not like I haven't experienced the effects of missing a dose of drugs, or the effects of combining alcohol with amantadine. I have written about both before. There is nothing positive about either. So what do I do? Well yesterday, I neglected to take any medication between 3:30AM and 5PM and was somewhat perplexed that while watching "Being Human" (British version) on Netflix, my right hand started jumping around like it had a mind of its own.

You would think one should be able to control the movement of one's hand by issuing the "stoppit!" command from one's brain.

Unfortunately, the brain itself is the problem and no amount of thinking or issuing demands will overcome the lack of control the brain has over itself. My hand continued to vibrate and dance for at least 2 hours after I took my medicine (mirapex and amantandine) at which time, I decided a small glass of wine would not hurt me. Guess what! It did. Insomnia and only 2 hours of sleep.

Everybody makes mistakes from time to time, but only an idiot insists on repeating them.

I highly recommend the British version of "Being Human", if you can accept the premise of a ghost, a vampire and a werewolf living together and trying to act human.

Only a dreamer, a thinker and a philosopher would appreciate this show. Or, as my wife says, "an idiot".

Ok, I can accept that title today.

I"'m sure hurting (whooo, oh, oh, ooooh) Yeah hurting (whooo, oh, oh, ooooh)" Roy Orbison

It's been 10 days since my last entry and things are good. Well, if you don't count myoclonic spasm symphony and the muscle spasm that has inserted itself in my back.

I believe I mentioned the myoclonic spasms. They occur in bunches anytime my body relaxes. For example, at bed time, or lying down watching TV, or reading a book sitting up. Some can be quite violent, lifting my head off the bed a couple of millimeters when the spasm occurs in my neck. Others are just rather amusing. They cause an arm or a leg or, as I said, my neck, to suddenly twitch as if I have received an electric shock and they occur without warning. I have between 3 and 7 per session. They never occur when I am doing something, only when I am relaxing. Everybody has had one at some time, usually just as you are falling asleep and you are literally jerked out of your reverie.

The muscle spasm has been around for 4 days now. I can't remember hurting myself and from what I have read, muscle spasms can occur anywhere on the body of a PwP. It is very bothersome and can really hurt at times. Its severity is the same today as when it first occurred so I think that cancels out an injury. Heat helps and fortunately, we are suffering from a mini ice age here, so I do not get too hot lying on a heating pad. It certainly curtails my activities.

I also have a slight pull in my groin, but it is the result of activity. Whenever that happens it reminds me of watching Rita Rudner on TV. She is a funny lady. She said,"I got kicked out of ballet school because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine."

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Dreaming men are haunted men (stephen vincent benet)

While sitting in the waiting room at the optometrist's office, I chanced upon an article in Reader's Digest about Professor Tore Nielsen of Universite de Montreal. He is the director of the university's Dream and Nightmare Laboratory. It is his thesis that dreams and health are related and the type of dreams you have may be symptoms of your health. The article is hardly scholarly, but it is interesting.

In my case, Professor Nielson might be right on the mark. In a nutshell, he says that violent, action-packed dreams that may or may not be accompanied by attempts to act out the dream, are a symptom of parkinson's. Now, re-read the post from April 21st, "Am I from a Different Planet...." and previous posts about my dreams.

Enough said?????

“The strongest symptom of wisdom in man is his being sensible of his own follies

Bradykinesia - I had it yesterday and a few weeks prior - or at least I thought I did. Today, however, while on my walk, I decided not to listen to Afghanada, a radio drama about the troops in Afghanistan, but rather I would listen to George Thorogood and the Destroyers, billed as the world's greatest bar band. Their music is hard driving rock 'n roll. It is amazing how music can control movement. For example, all of my grandchildren would stand and bounce up and down to any sort of lively music, quite naturally, at 10 months or so. For me, the beat of the Destroyer's music caused me to speed up my walk. I finished 10 minutes earlier than yesterday. What relief! My bradykinesia was all in my head (I hope). I just needed some help. I continue my descent into hypochondria.

In fact, I have self diagnosed myself as having paranoid hypochondria....but....I may be faking.

Slow Down You're Moving Too Fast

Another little gem resulting from the loss of dopamine-producing cells is bradykinesia, a fancy word for slowness of movement. It is one of the "cardinal manifestations" of parkinson's. In a scholarly article about bradykinesia, a professor Alfredo Baradelli wrote

We argue that bradykinesia results from a failure of basal ganglia output to reinforce the cortical mechanisms that prepare and execute the commands to move. The cortical deficit is most apparent in midline motor areas. This leads to particular difficulty with self-paced movements, prolonged reaction times and abnormal pre-movement EEG activity.

And blah, blah, blah, blah. Who needs it! All I know is I am slowing down. Not seriously yet, but definitely slower. My morning walk takes about 5 minutes longer these days. I try to speed up, make my stride longer, but I usually give up after a block and just settle into what I consider to be glacial movement. I will keep on trying, but I am guessing I will continue to slow down.

By the way, slow or fast, I am shedding weight from all that exercise. Ten pounds so far. Walking has been a better weight-taker-offer than running ever was. Good thing too because I am becoming addicted to chocolate. I am going to have a bar before I go to bed. Sounds like a plan.

Feelin' groovy, dah, dah, dah, dah, da da dah.

Just Call Me Lazarus

For the past two days, I have felt very parkie. Tired and slow. I also experienced tremors for the first time in a long time, in both hands and both legs. Not a good sign. When a second side, in my case the left side, starts to experience tremors, the PWP is probably entering the second stage of the condition and there are only 5 stages, the last stage being very unattractive.

Today however, I feel good. No tremors on either side. I took a 2.5 mile walk at 5AM and felt good with a lively step. It was raining and I could have taken a day off, but I felt good enough to ignore the rain and get the exercise.

Of course, I am not completely without symptoms. I was changing a light bulb on the bottom of the microwave oven over the stove top, one of those tiny bulbs that resemble the smallest flash bulbs from the 70's, and to get to it, I had to unscrew the cover that protects the light from grease. Unscrewing the cover was easy. My hands were shaking but I managed. However, screwing it back in was impossible. The object was to hold a tiny screw still while inserting the screw driver into it. I might as well have been trying to thread a needle, blindfolded. I could not stop my hands shaking and so, the screw now lies atop the stove, the cover is hanging down, and I have admitted defeat. The problem will be solved by someone else.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!

Now, that sounded petty, didn't it? The fact is, I have been very unsettled for the past two days and today I feel good, very good, and no stubborn little screw is going to screw up my mood. At least, that is the plan.

You Didn't Know You Were a Shrink, Did You?

Statistics for May

• Canada 364
• United States 38,
• United Kingdom 34
• Russia 25
• Ireland 19
• Germany 5
• Ukraine 5
• India 4
• United Arab Emirates 2
• Finland 2

Some other countries: Brazil, Moldova, Singapore, Estonia, Philippines, France, Spain, Egypt

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Thanks to all readers. You make living with PD much easier because I am able to unload my troubles on you.