Holiday Merci

For 2021 I would like to thank:

* My brother Don and his wife, Joanne, for making life a lot more interesting.

* My cousin, Terry, who died just before Christmas but was always appreciative of my poetry

*  My good Ottawa friend and confidant who, without knowing it, has helped keep me sane

*  My 3 kids and their spouses who worry about me and make feel all is good

*  My friend and editor, Sid, without whom The Gate would never have happened

*  Two contributors, Denise and Marianne, who brought laughter to the table and to poet, Drae, who brought us youth

*  To an amazing carpenter/teacher,  Mark "the genius"who has improved our family greatly

*  To Boyd, Ken, Faye, Lonnie and Edie for their inspired union work. Support them in 2022

*  To Von for keeping me a jordan

*  Finally to all my Loyal readers who have looked at my stuff 131,113 times.

thank you all.  Season's best wishes

Slip sliding away

 I used to enjoy winter.  For those in warmer climes, I am here to tell you there is no better winter activity than running 3 miles in a blizzard.  Of course, you would want to guage the amount of snow on the ground, too deep, you risk injury; so you put up with 6" to 10" and to avoid getting lost, you stay within the city lights and on familiar roads.  Your workout will double in intensity over half your usual route.

That was then, this is now.

I took a taxi to my dentist's office and, when finished, I realized I didn't have my wallet (with credit card) or my cell phone.  No taxi home!  Not wishing to disrupt a busy office, I decided to walk to my son's home about 3/4 of a mile away where, I hoped, I would find my daughter-in-law in her home office.  Shouldn't be a problem.  His house was on my former 3 mile blizzard run.  Piece of cake.  The depth of the snow was minimal and in some cases, the homeowner had cleared the sidewalk down to pavement.  

"Yes," I thought, the walk will do me good.

A nagging doubt crossed my mind.  "You idiot!   You weren't affected by PD during the blizzard years."

I had gone about 150 yards when my legs got stiff.

"Idiot!!!" I began to walk like Frankenstein.

"Idiot!!!!" I refused the negative aura punishing my brain and I pushed on.  I was about a half block from my sanctum sanctorum when a woman came toward me.  I must have looked like Frankenstein or  rather, a crazed version of the monster.  I could sense her fear.

She crossed the street to where a man was standing.  I could make out a few words.  They were talking about me, their eyes keeping track of me.

"He's.....(mumble)...,"  I knew they were talking about me.

I stopped to look around to figure out how far I had to go....when it happened.  I slipped.

I fell.

"He has fallen!" the woman cried out and she and the man rushed over to help me.

"Are you hurt?" the man asked as he and the woman helped me up.

I thanked both of them for their assistance and promised I was not hurt.  I explained I had but a few houses to go and after much reassurance they decided I was OK to walk.  

I stumbled to my son's home and thankfully my daughter-on-law was there.  I sat down.  She brought me water.  We chatted and she drove me home.

Family!  Does it get any better?

After 3/4 of a mile full of negative thoughts, my family thoughts brought me the positively of family.

And that is where I dwell today.

Family!  Can it get any better?   

Mind you, my walking in winter days are over.  Much to my family's relief.

Thinking can be dangerous

I seem to have met numerous victims of PD, some in better shape than I, others in worse.  The problem is I am starting to think I belong with the worse side.  I snap out of it by thinking positively.  

Negative thoughts are very rude, popping in, as they do, in my moments of  halcyon daydreaming.

Remember the 60's ballad....."What a day for a daydream; custom made for daydreaming boy".  That's me.  I can get lost in a daydream so I find it offensive when negative thoughts try to invade my space.  What to do?  What to do?

Well, the author, Stephen Richards, wrote, "It is not alway possible to do away with negative thinking, but with persistence and practice, one can gain mastery over them so that they do not take the upper hand:           

You have to declare war on your negativity!  If you recognize a negative thought, banish it with a positive one.   Using an athletics approach, park it.  Go to a nearby object, put one hand on the object, and say aloud to the object "I am parking this negativity on you, I have no use for it."

Hokey right? Yes, but if you immediately think positively, you have taken your first step for freedom.

Works for me.

Fun, fun, fun 'til...........

The best article on sialorrhia ( I have just finished reading it) can be be found at 

https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/conditions/sialorrhea

It is worth reading.  

 

Siahorrhea - fun,fun,fun

If you have Parkinson's, chances are you also have  SIALORRHEA what is  that?   Well,  it is just another  little gem given to 80 percent of we PWP.  

 

Siahorrhea is excessive saliva pooling in your mouth.  It is also called drooling.  It's true, you started life drooling and that is exactly how you'll leave this somewhat disturbing planet.

 

This came upon me seriously in the past 5 months.  It can be quite embarrassing when you lean forward to put food into your mouth but before the food gets there, some drool leaks out onto your lap.

 

Or how about when you wake up, feeling good, you roll over, only to find a partially crusted wet spot on your pillow? 

 

are we having fun yet.

 

more on this in coming entries

Falling...or not

I have had some significant falls in my career as a PWD.  Baaaaad ones, but not anymore.  I am the master of my fate, I am the captan of my soul (Invictus).  To avoid falling:

     1.  When I enter a room, I look for obstacles to avoid

     2.   I check to see any stabilizing structure - chair, bed,  even an uncluttered wall.

     3.   I take my time when standing.  If the chair is such that I find it to difficult to stand, I fall to one knee in front of the chair and use part of the chair to stabilize myself.

     4.    While walking, I try to maximize my stride length.  Don't know why, but it works.

     5.    When  walking, try to step heel first; that way you avoid stubbing your toe which can lead to face plants

      6.  After exercise, sit for  3 - 5minutes and THAT feeling will pass

      7.  If you, and most of us do, wage war on your blankets when getting into or out of bed, alleviate the problem by wearing satin pyjamas; they make getting out of bed less likely to get tangled up a cause of falls.

More on falling anon 

NOTICE J OF __________COT______ (fill in the blanks-) ID test

 I lost your  address.  Give it to me again.I have a book for you

How goes the battle?

 Take it from me:

There are two signs of PD that arise (in most cases), well before your physical problems, that should be mentioned to your doctor as possible precursors to a diagnosis of PD:

                1.  Loss of sense of smell.   It gets to the point that you could be knee-deep in manure and you     cannot smell anything.  Diddly squat, nothing, rien!  Advantageous - yes but not when you stand near or, if you've a mind to, in a pile of shit.  Not so good if there is a gas leak.

                  2.  Disappearing handwriting.  I was helping my son study for an exam by making study notes on recipe cards.  My writing hand would tighten up and the letters would get smaller and more illegible, like old man's handwriting.  Cashing a cheque and having it honoured, becomes hit and miss with the unavoidable change in your written signature as time goes by.  I can no longer write.

THE MAN IN THE ATTIC

The man in the attic

with the run-away shoes

will be running to win but

is likely to lose

trying to decipher

which lane he should choose

to escape a really harsh encounter

 

There are only two roads

which one should he take

one stops at the airport

the other's a fake

he could last forever

if given a break

he might even live 'til tomorrow 

 

so he shaves off his beard

and whitens his cheeks

he has to be careful

which language he speaks

he looks in mirror

he thinks he's complete

but the mirror is broken and shattered

 

He tightens his runners

and pulls down his hat

his former employer

knows where he's at

but just in case

he carries a bat

But the bat's not a Louisville slugger

 

 

He recites the Koran

as moves through the streets

taking some comfort

from the words he repeats

but Taliban's waiting

there are no retreats

and the plane is now on the runway

 

Taliban curses

he shows no surprise

the fool thinks he's fooled him

with his western disguise

but Taliban smells him

and sees fear in his eyes

and he brandishes a whip made from leather

 

run-away shoes 

no time to react

but he feels the bite 

of the whip on his back

he turns to confront him

he means to attack

but he is no fighter this runaway runner

 

he swings his cheap bat 

but it misses the man

so he starts running faster

than ever he ran

he hides in a corner

to fool Taliban

and at first he seems like the winner

 

 

while hidden, he pictures

a land made of snow

and freedoms that promise

to let your mind flow

no need for translation

in  knowledge we'll grow

if we avoid the backwash of our burden

 

 

Taliban raises his pistol

no weary word said

he's a war-weary veteran

no fear of the dead

a twitch of his finger

and as A  leads to Zed

he can smile at the body before him

 

On the plane there is high jubilation

as it leaves Afghani airspace

just one lonely seat being empty

a symbol of a nation's disgrace

You asked for it Margaret and here it is.  Thanks again for your comments last night and in your review.  They mean a lot coming from you.

The state of the battle in the year 2021

Parkinson’s is the fastest growing neurological disease on the planet outpacing Alzheimer’s, MS, ALS and Stroke. Canada has the highest incidence of PD in the world and Manitoba has the highest incidence in Canada. 

Help U-Turn Parkinson's | 204-510-4869 | www.uturnparkinsons.org fight the good fight.

                           DONATE AT THE WEBSITE

Join us in fighting back against PD. Your donation will empower those living with Parkinson's and help make a difference in their lives today.

We rely on the support of individuals, foundations and corporations to fund the classes we offer: Rock Steady Boxing Winnipeg, Yoga Parkinson's and U-Tunes.

A Conspiracy of Doubt

There are three new pretenders in Manitoba education, Mr Clifton, Mr  Long and Mr Narth (Winnipeg Free Press October 12th 2021).   In an article, they argue that with the death of bill 64, we must revisit Manness/Mackinnon report or as I call it call it 64 Lite.

 

The pretenders seem to assume there is something wrong wth Manitoba schools and there is,  the curriculum does need updating, there is a lot of useless information.  In some case, there is subject matter only  useful to a child in the 1960's.

Rigidity in the curriculum and a reduction of the tyranny in the system are both required, but we'll take that up another time.

Let's start with mathematics.  The pretenders panic when they see that the gods have not seen fit to make Canada rank higher in the world rankings.  One institute that puts out such a list ranks Canada as 10th out of 72 countries (may have slipped to 11th)  while the USA is ranked 35th (may have arisen to 28)  Canada is doing well but we are not number 1 ( Singapore is #1).

We Canadians would like to be higher in the rankings, but not by Asian methods.  (look them up)  The pretenders think the answer somehow is found in standardized testing.  The don't say how tests will help but they recommend using those developed in the USA.

Hmmmm.....Canada 10th........USA........28th.

Want to explain how those tests are going to help?????       

...........and now we breakaway for a commercial

"The Gate and Other Poems on a Life's Journey, " Poetry by Doug Jodan, Photos by Sidney Shapira (FriesenPress,  2021) is now available from the FriesenPress on-line bookstore, as well as from amazon, amazon.ca and chapters/indigo Kenaston. Locally, McNally Robinson Booksellers Grant Park is stocking the softcover. Call ahead to reserve your copy! 

Go to www.thegatepoetry.ca for live links to the on-line catolgues.

Please purchase our book! Then, please leave a short review on the above websites, with the book listing, or on Goodreads. Reviews sell books. We need you to purchase a book, as well as to leave a review on the above sites, or leave a comment on the www.thegatepoetry.ca site.

Thank-you so much for your support.

The gentle lady has PD

 I decided to take a late dinner and I was sitting at a table by myself when a couple, around my age, asked to join me.  We spoke of their farm, now being run by their son; how long we each had lived in the manor; where I was from. You know, small talk and it was during this talk that I confessed to having Parkinson's.

A soft "Me too".  The lady had PD but the only noticeable symptom was her barely discernible voice.

EUREKA!!!!!

I now know how people hear me and I intend to get my voice up to, or near 50 decibels

 I hope get to know the couple and to share their table frequently.  I will offer help to my sister in PD.

When I arose, she looked into my eyes and said,  "Somebody (God?) sent me to this table today".

I am enough of a believer to believe.  Someone is looking over us.  

Amen

Land of ice and snow - A Canadian failure

Here is draft one of a poem concerning Canada's lack of assistance to Afghani comrades. I call it" land of ice and snow"Please comment

The man in the attic

with the run-away shoes

running to win but

is likely to lose

trying to decipher

which lane he should choose

to escape a really harsh encounter

 

There are only two roads

which one should he take

one stops at the airport

the other's a fake

he could last forever

if given a break

he might even live 'til tomorrow 

 

so he shaves off his beard

and whitens his cheeks

he has to be careful

which language he speaks

he looks in mirror

he thinks he's complete

but the mirror is broken and shattered

 

He tightens his runners

and pulls down his hat

his former employer

knows where he's at

but just in case

he carries a bat

But the bat's not a Louis Ville slugger

 

 

He recites the Koran

as he moves through the streets

taking some comfort

from the words he repeats

but the  Taliban's waiting

there are no retreats

and the plane is now on the runway

 

He throws his cheap bat 

but it misses the man

so he starts running faster

than ever he ran

he hides in a corner

to fool Taliban

and at first he seems like the winner

 

while hidden, he pictures

a land made of snow

and freedoms that promise

to let your mind grow

no need for translation

just let knowledge flow

and it all flows in a certain direction

 

Taliban raises his pistol

no warrior's word being said

without any fear of  the here-after

without any fear of the dead

Taliban twitches his finger

and sends a bullet through running man's head

he has notched another before breakfast

On the plane there is vast jubilation

as it leaves Afghani airspace

just one lonely seat being empty

a symbol of a nation's disgrace

BTW I published a book of some of my poems.  It is called "the Gate" andI believe it is available on Amazon - Sid detail in comments

All time stats

 I had hoped to gain around 500 readers when I started this blog but I now have128991 reads.  Thank you

A little bit of boxing helps the shakes go down

 Last evening I experienced an example of how vicious Parkinson's can be.  I reached for a bottle of water on my bedside table.  My hand started to shake uncontrollably.  This was not a tremor, it was an out and out crazy shake and I managed to knock the bottle of water off the table along with other things.  There was no controlling it, I just had to wait it out.  Eventually it subsided.  I hope never to encounter it again.

I wish I could return to boxing (balance issues).  I am sure it would help.  If you are interested in boxing, and live in or near Winnipeg, contact the CAO of U-TURN PARKINSON'S. His name is Tim, and he can be reached at 204.781.2327. Boxing (no bodily contact) seems to suppress the symptoms of Parkinson's.   All parkie patients and volunteers are welcome.

Go to their website https://www.uturnparkinsons.org for more info

HUH!

"Excessive drooling, called SIALORRHIA, is a common symptom of parkinson's and can cause awkwardness in social situations.  It ranges from mild wetting of pillow during sleep to embarrassing outpourings of saliva during unguarded moments."

Just another special gift from the gods.  If they chance to see me living a relatively normal life, they jump to the conclusion that I should now be given the appearance of a drooling moron. You know, to add to the shaking, loss of balance....etc......etc.....

As Thomas Beecham, conductor, said:

            "They are quite hopeless - drooling, 
             driveling, doleful, depressing, dropsical, drips"

HUH!!

Research Blues

Hello Parkies - ever been the subject of a research study?  I was one in a study to determine if coffee had a beneficial effect on PD. This first verse of a poem outlining the quirks of the study and its outcomes is to be found in the poem, "Research Blues" in my first book of poems, The Gate and Other Poems on a Life's Journey. (read all about the poem and the authors at "books.friesenpress.com")

Check out our wesite at "the gatepoetry.ca" where you will find the many booksellers who are carrying the book.  Locals note that the book is available at McNally Robinson. 

I'm in the laboratory 

research is necessary

Livin’ in a test tube

He's in the hall way

Looking for the payday

Man in a white coat

Pen out, pent up

Says he knows the reason

Coffee is in season

Local not global - well maybe

One reader pointed out that the reference to conservatism and stupidity was offensive.  I stand by my words except to qualify them by ensuring you they were not meant to apply globally but to a local education bill 64 and the morons who came up with it and the stupid conservatives who support (e) it.  It is a local issue.

But, come to think of it, it applies to all trump supporters and anti-vaxxers. The very essence of stupidity.  Would they not paint themselves as small "c" conservative.

I leave it to you to provide the answer.

Sex! Who needs it?

 I started to read my blog from the beginning and chanced upon a list of side effects of the drug, mirapex. There were a few involving sex.  Let me now expand on those effects as set put by the APDA

• Impaired sexual coordination: In general, slowed movements, muscle tremors, and rigidity can intrude upon one’s lovemaking abilities. The physical pain that may accompany such can also make sex painful or uncomfortable. Often fatigued and unable to control body movements, the person with Parkinson’s may find pleasures diminished as they are forced to be more passive.
• Erectile Dysfunction (ED): Since Parkinson’s Disease impacts the central nervous system, men with Parkinson’s Disease may find themselves unable to attain or maintain an erection, let alone ejaculate. Issues with blood circulation to the penis and pelvic muscles can further lend themselves to ED.
• Vaginal dryness: Women with Parkinson’s Disease may experience inadequate lubrication, the result of which is painful sex, with bladder infections quite common.
• Lack of climax: Between reduced sexual feeling and functioning, both sexes may not be able to attain orgasm, even when sexually active.
• Hypersexuality: While occurring in less than 1 percent of Parkinson’s patients, a person may develop a compulsive sex drive from antiparkinsonian medications (levodopa combined with a dopamine agonist).

Do I suffer from any of those side effects?  I will never tell, but if you see me acting strangely......well.....

"Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable."

Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

There is danger in reckless change, but greater danger in blind conservatism (Henry George)

Henry George was a famous American journalist and economist in the 19th century.  I read about him around the same time as our premier, Pallister, announced he was not going to seek office in the next election.

Ding dong the witch is dead.  Which old witch?

I think you know which witch of which I speak.

Pallister and his iron fist are no longer a threat.  Now, we can fight Bill 64 (education reform???) without his reckless interference.  He conjured up a bill that would have completely revamped education in Manitoba and, he manufactured it without regard to majority input.

Perhaps the education system needs change, but Bill 64 would have only created more problems. To effect change, we should not rush into a plan like that proposed by the premier which seemingly was centered upon CONTROL.  We must take our time with public input and input by the experts....the educators.

Some British politician said something to the effect that conservatism does not trust the people and that distrust is tempered by fear. 

Rise up people.  You have nothing to fear but "fear itself" and isn't it good to talk about something other than PD.

It is true not all (small "c") conservatives are stupid people; but the corollary is that all stupid people are small "c" conservatives

 Our Manitoba premier has decided that there is no longer any need for masks and all other restrictions required to defeat covid are now lifted.

On the eve of a phase 4 attack from the virus,  the premier demilitarizes the friendlies.

How stupid is that ?

Oh, I know he has the right, in democratic nation, to speak what he thinks, no matter how stupid his belief is; but, does he have to abuse that right?

Do yourselves a favour keep wearing those masks.

               Continued in the next entry

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

Nervousness!  What a nuisance!  There are times my nervousness exacerbates my symptoms.  Like walking up a mountain side.  Well it was a small mountain; a hill really or maybe "hillock" is more accurate.  But to a prairie boy, with PD, it was a mountain.  Did I mention there was a staircase with wide treads and easily accessible railings?  At the top was a luxurious cabin overlooking the Pacific.  Plus, I had 2 competent helpers.

So what was there to be nervous about?

I don't know, but I was and remained in that condition until I saw the prairie flatlands through the airplane window. I was home.  

More to come anon

 Fran Liebowitz quote

"Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world”

 The main thing that makes me skittish about PD is the tendency to hallucinate.  It happens every so often and, other than the one involving the police, my hallucinations have been short-lived.  However, they can, and have occurred on the highway.  I no longer drive more than 10 minutes.  I would give up my car except I don't want to give up my independence completely.

Let me tell you the absurdity of that last sentence.

Independence!

I have used 2 tanks of gas in the last 22 months.  What will I be missing if I give up my car?  Very little; that's what.  However, I continue to cling to my long-lost youth for the time being.

The trouble is, I have a problem deciding whether a memory was a dream or an hallucination.  My dreams are so real, they could be hallucinations.  Also. I have a tendency to act out my dreams.  I have a fear I will find myself in the hallway in my birthday suit.  What a hideous sight that would be!  To ensure that does not happen, I have purchased a door alarm which will shriek and wake me up if I am in a starring role in some strange.......well, you know.

But I flounder on, still content with my lot in life.

For now.

“I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?” ― Steven Wright

People keep telling me "your feet are swollen".  That's stating the obvious.   My feet arehuge by the end of the day,  as are my lower legs.  My belly has taken a hit too, with a deflated inner tube made up of some bodily stuff having taken up residence in my lower abdomen.

I hate having such excess baggage.  According to Elaine Benes, the male body is "hideous" and, believe me. carrying around human flubber does not enhance its beauty.  It has become my bouncy albatross. 

What's happening to me!

Blood tests ruled out anything serious.  What then???

Drugs!

Mirapex and zopiclone are the likely bad guys.  Both are drugs used to treat the symptoms of PD.

I decided last night to cut down to one half of a 7.5 zopiclone tablet and got a decent sleep so that bad guy is on its way out.  I will check with my doc with the correct weaning off strategy.

As for the mirapex......who knows?  Maybe I will just have to tighten my belt and wear compression socks.

mine are not as bad but they are gettin' there

Dopamine - where would be if we had some

"Dopamine" 

You would think they could have found a better name for this very important neurotransmitter.  I know because I lack the stuff and so do you if you have parkinson's disease.

Dopamine is responsible for our movements (among other things) and is produced by a structure in our brains.  For some unknown reason, the brain stops producing dopamine and "bang", there goes our ability to control our movements.  The result is tremors, rigidity,  slow movements, shuffling and a whole bag of other symptoms that I won't describe because I don't want to scare you.  Needless to say, after 11 plus years of living with this dark shadow, I am still relatively normal and lead a relatively normal life.  All thanks to the drugs.

My daily drug regime involves taking a cocktail 4x a day of

      

amantadine - an anti-viral that seems to help subdue the tremor.  It is a miracle drug for me.  I am        tremor free when I remember to take the drug.

carbidopa/levadopa - which increases dopamine in the brain

mirapex -  a dopamine agonist which fools the brain into thinking there is dopamine available

I am not free of movement problems, for example. getting into and out of a bed can be a challenge.  Those damn covers conspire to keep me out.  You will eventually know what I mean.

Walking can be difficult because of festination.  Look it up.  Also because of slowness of movements

Jumping is close to being impossible,  with a couple of centimeters being my upper limit.

The oddest symptom  I have encountered is the concept of "freezing" which describes a condition where your feet seem to be stuck the ground.  You can't move.  When I first stand, I have to shuffle my feet in a circle or I will probably fall.  One thing is certain, I am not going forward until I complete this exercise.

I consider myself lucky.  Thanks to the drugs I am relatively symptom free of movement difficulties and, an even find humor in the disease:

     

             My friend died last night.  We  are not sure of the cause but we are highly suspicious because                             we found this code on his phone  99999911111111.  Investigation is continuing.

FINDING THE RIGHT combination and dosages of medications to help manage your Parkinson’s disease symptoms can be a challenge. Compounding that challenge is something called the “on-off” phenomenon, in which your meds start to wear off over time, leading to an increase in motor symptoms that can be difficult to deal with

The Role of Dopamine in Parkinson’s

Before we can really understand the on-off phenomenon of Parkinson’smedications, we have to first understand the role that dopamine, a neurotransmitter, plays in the body. 

Normally, the brain makes its own dopamine, and it aids in several important functions throughout the body, explains Jennifer S. Hui, M.D., a neurologist with Keck Medicine of University of Southern California in Los Angeles, CA. “For unknown reasons, we have a loss of that neurotransmitter that leads to Parkinson’s disease,” she says. “That neurotransmitter helps with movement, and without it, movement is slowed down.”

That’s why common Parkinson’s symptoms include tremors, difficulty walking, slonessand feelings of slowness or heaviness.

The role that dopamine—well, lack thereof—plays in Parkinson’s is evident in the main treatments for the medication. The gold standard for treating Parkinson’s is a drug called carbidopa/levodopa, says Dr. Hui. This drug, and several other medications for Parkinson’s (dopamine agonists), work by increasing dopamine in the brain to help reduce those motor complications.

 I have lived my entire PD life wrapped in the arms of positivity.  My diagnosis was in 2011with the onset around 2008 when I first noticed I could no longer smell the most offensive of odours. That progressed through an inability to swallow, soft speech and finally my right handed hand jive.

Medicine improved my life to a great degree, but so did positive thinking.  Just by comparing my situation to that of MJF, I decided I would use all my weapons to fight PD and I would say to myself "you will win in the end!" and I like to think that helped.

Take the advice of Mark Twain:

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

THE WILFRID LAURIER and CASPER THE GHOST CONSPIRACY

William Friedkin who directed The Exorcist lost the title, to me, for being the greatest producer of scary material, when I discovered he ghost of Laurier House, a national treasure in Canadian history.

The house had been owned by Wilfrid Laurier and it was haunted; ergo, we toured the house every year, hoping to see a ghost.  One year, one of the Mounties (RCMP) who guarded the house and its contents told a group of us they were certain the place was haunted.  In fact, they said, a fellow mountie heard or saw someone that scared him so badly, he spent the rest of his shift sitting outside on the front steps.

Whoa!!!! that gave me fuel for my fire.  "Our teacher might con us, but the mounties would never sink so low" became the refrain." They believed the mounties' story and chatted about the ghost of Laurier House on and off all day, asking me questions and doubting my answers.  Finally I told them the following story.

"I heard this story last year and it sounds true.  It seems that 4 students wanted to join a club called "the succubus chapter"  a goup dedicated to bringing the most evil dead men and women back to life and the 4 newbies were required to attend the next seance to bring Henry VIII back from the spirit world. The 4 students joined hands and called for the evil Henry to appear.  After just a few minutes, the spirit appeared before them in the form of  pulsating ball of green light.  The newbie succubi had coaxed it from beyond there was absolute silence as it flew into the body of one of the 4 students and took over.  At first the body  just made gutteral sounds, but soon it morphed into a face and a hand....a hand holding a knife.  He turned to his left and then to his right and carved up one of them leaving a bloody corpse writhing on the floor. Fortunately the leader of succubus cult  had his face painted in the ancient manner which caused the ghost to be repelled."

Stopping there, he gave the 4 a chance to back out because as he said, I can't exert much control over my bloody instincts when the spirit is inside me.  The mounties certainly believed it so the 4 should think about not participating.

They wanted in but I said NO unless your face has the magic words "bah, sueg socah toah" (Klingon characters I told them later) meaning "no fear.   I am here".  They agreed and I used a grease crayon to cover their faces in colourful dodads.

The seance began.  I was at my evil best, making dark noises and sudden movements.  There was much squealing and one girl crawled under her bed.  I convinced them of the green ball of light coming toward me and entering my body. All hell broke loose as the 4 (and there were about 8 spectors) started screaming and hugging until in my evil voice I said "I am the ghost called Casper and you all look ridiculous" 

All hell broke loose again, only this time with laughter and cajoling.

Of course this is just a summary of events I performed each year on a class trip to Ottawa.  The actual seance took over 45 minutes of fear and enjoyment.

The power of suggestion! Has it any place in the war against PD?

The power of suggestion - the first seance

A first I thought I would get in trouble but after a few years I realized parents were cool with my antics.  I would not be punished for scaring their kids, especially while in Ottawa on one of our Edutreks. but how would I accomplish that?.    I told them lots of ghost stories throughout the year (yes, former students, I made them up, every last one of them) culminating in the Ottawa SEANCE!  The following are snippets of some of the seances I made up to scare them silly.

The Westdale ghost......I really don't remember all the details but I had about ten students and one teacher in my student residence room when, out of the blue, I suggested trying to contact the dead. 

Never underestimate the power of suggestion.  I concocted a story of a murder that had occurred in the very room we were in (at Carleton University or University of Ottawa - I'm old and forget which one we used on that trio)  Off went the lights and I began.  The students sat, big-eyed, intent on my voice, which had taken on a weird, raspiness as I called for the spirits to come forth.  I knew I was having the desired effect when the teacher got up and said, "I'm getting out of here!" and left the room.  

I said to the students, "Perhaps I should stop." but there was no way.  They wanted more.  I warned them that the story I was telling would cause them to lose sleep but that was no deterrence.  I told them if we concentrated, the ghost of the victim would manifest itself as a glowing green ball somewhere in the room and it would enter my body and I would be his paranormal speaker, if he had anything to say.  

In about 10 minutes I had them believing that the dead man's aura was hanging over an old armchair in a far corner of the room and was taking on his human form, seated with his legs crossed.  They saw and believed every thing I said.  

How do I know they believed? Two things.  First, they had all moved away from the chair and got closer to me and second, when the light was back on, a student who had not participated in the seance strolled in and was lowering himself into the chair when a chorus of hysteria arose from the participants who screamed:

DON'T SIT THERE!!!!!!

The newcomer, hearing the fear in their cry, jumped up and took the 10 feet from the chair to the bed in one stride.

I began to laugh and while I listened to several voices giving various explanations as to why he shouldn't sit in that chair, I thought to myself, "I bet he will never make a jump like that again!"

The power of suggestion.

JORDAN, MASON AND THE EXORCIST 1973

This post has nothing to do with PD.  It is intended for those students who accompanied Laidlaw teachers to Ottawa, a 45 hour trip of 1,041 miles (1,675km).  This was the first Edutrek.

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” Mark Twain

   

Firstly, I am compelled to recognize Alan Mason as the driving force behind Laidlaw’s first trip to Ottawa, which Al dubbed "Edutrek". I joined forces with him, and I insisted that we go by train for two reasons:

 

         1.      Being locked up together in  a train car would require interaction between all students and, fallowing the logic of Mark Twain, you would be forced to live as a "family" and maybe find some value in a student you didn’t care for before embarking on the trip, 

 

         2.      You would finally get a sense of how huge  and wild Canada is.  Two days on a train will do that.

 

We took up every seat but one in our coach.  The lone seat was occupied by an elderly gentleman who quietly disapproved of young people in general and his coach mates in particular.  He suffered your antics with the occasional snort as you scrambled for sleeping spaces, including the overhead luggage racks. Finally he could no longer remain silent and he took Al aside and quietly the conversation went as follows:

 

Passenger:  You know what those kids are doing up there in those luggage racks?

 

Al:  No. What are they doing?

 

Passenger: They are rutting, that's what. Rutting!

 

Al: I will look into it.

 

We were certain that there was nothing untoward going on, but, trust but verify, and to keep the passenger happy, we looked but  found no evidence of "rutting" and were glad to see the passenger get off the train at Capreol.

 

Arriving in Ottawa, we were met by your billets, led by their teacher, Mister Pierre Landrieu, a name Al could not pronounce so he would refer to him as Pierre Laundromat, but not to his face. (BTW we never billeted again)To save money, Al and I booked a room in a motel not far from the billets' school.  This was a rather seedy place so whenever he and I went anywhere by taxi, Al would insist on being dropped off a couple of blocks from the motel so nobody would see us getting out of the cab at the motel. 

 

The motel was a tad rundown and meeting the owner, an older lady wearing a feather boa did not enhance its appeal.  It was clean but the room was small, for example when sitting on the toilet, your feet could easily fit into the bath tub.

 

One evening, to kill time, we decided to go and see The Exorcist to see what all the fuss was about. As the movie went on, we heard screams and other weird noises coming from the audience.  I held my hand above my eyes, as if shielding them from the sun, thus affording me the opportunity to look into my palm whenever a scary part came on.  Alan watched the whole movie but every so often he would say "Oh my goodness", "Good Lord" or similar phases throughout the movie.

 

When we got back to the motel, I said I don't believe in the devil and to prove it, I loudly added, if there is a devil, come and take me.  I am yours. It is at this point in the story when I retold the details of your week in Ottawa to all the grade 9 students I worked with over the next 29 years at hallowe'en.

I would pick out the girl who  appeared to be the most engrossed in the story.  I would maneuver my way beside her and when got to the point in the story where I said to the devil "I am yours" I would look into her eyes and loudly say in my most evil voice 

BUT AS YOU CAN SEE NOTHING HAPPENED TO ME!!!!

 

That always got my desired reaction - a loud scream and a condemnation of my ruse.

 

I would never have gotten to have that laugh if it were not for a seedy, tiny room, boredom and a trip to the movies on the very first Edutrek.

I have told your story many times and made your class famous every  year that I taught.  Thanks for the memories

Another claim to a cure for PD!

In his essay/advertisement "I used to suffer Parkinson's". Steve Peterson gives a surprisingly good account of Parkinson's from onset (causes) on through classic symptoms to how he cured himself of PD.  Part of this is worth reading, especially if you are a newbie.

 

In the end, it is just a story to flog a book called "The Parkinson’s Protocol" for $49.00.  I have never read the book, as impressive as it appears. but if, as suggested by Steve, following the author's protocol will lead to cure, I never will read it!

 

At the moment, THERE ARE NO CURES.  Got that??? On May 23, 2021, Parkinson's  cannot be cured

 

Having been diagnosed in 2011, I am confident of that statement.

 

I think I am upper stage 2 or lower stage 3, but I am also confident that I have a few good years left and I will tell you why and it won't cost you $49.00.

 

Here goes.

 

The reasons my PD is on the slow track are due to:

 

     1.   taking my pills as prescribed by the neuro

     2.   exercise (moderate 2 - 3 hours a week)

     3.   positive thinking

 

Yes. "positive thinking".  Never doubt its power.

IN CANADA, THERE IS NO IMPEACHMENT POWER

We change premiers ( leader of the party with the most seats in the legislature) only through elections and, guess what.....provincial premiers have a right to call elections whenever they please, so long as the election occurs within at least five years of the last one.

Why is this such a bad thing?  The current premier of Manitoba is Brian Pallister who, inspite of winning the last 2 provincial elections, has the lowest approval rating of any premier in Canada, according to a May online survey by the Angus Reid Institute.  Given his popularity, what are the chances of Pallister calling an election any time soon?  

His grip on the province is somewhat like trumps grip on the southern states.  In fact, he governs using Trump's approach...my way or the highway.  His "policies" stink of a benificial dictator.  

And that is the reason why Manitoba is the "HOT SPOT" in north America for Covid-19.  His approach is if he doesn't like something he will come up with a directive to bring it in line. He has no view of the entire problem, just a reaction to the latest problem without understandings of the ridiculous situations created by his reaction.

For example:

The problem-----the long weekend is approaching and people are going to want to get out of the house and, God forbid, have parties.

His solution----we will forbid non-household people associating (with exceptions) for the duration of the month.  One exception is that one person per household can enter a grocery store.  The absurdity of this "policy" was pointed out by Winnipeg's Mayor, Brian Bowman, who decried that under this restriction, his wife would not be able to go for a go for a jog with a friend but they could shop for groceries at the same time.

 I know many people would be upset but I think the policy should be a complete shut down (except for essentials) for at least 3 weeks with an all-out drive to vaccinate every citizen.

It should be done soon, before the virus mutates into a form that is unaffected by by the vaccine.

Now we hear Pallister has the audacity to blame the Whitehouse for our problems. That is fodder for another entry.

Sick!

What has this got to do with PD?

You figure it out.

 “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein