All Life is an Experiment

I think that old age must arrive suddenly and unexpectedly. I have always held on to the notion that old age is always 10 years beyond my age. But then life reminds you of your mortality and your expiry date.

We had a death in the family. My mother-in-law. But, shed no tears; she was 98 years old, almost blind and confined to a wheelchair that she could not move by herself. So, she sat in the same place until somebody could move her. I think she must have welcomed death. Five years ago, she could operate an electric wheelchair joystick like a professional gamer but then she got shipwrecked and life only became a nuisance.

I was thinking about life and death on my walk this morning. I had this mental picture of my oldest child. He is about 4 years old and we are fishing. His eyes are big and his mouth wide open. He is staring at the minnow I am threading onto the hook. He thinks I have caught a fish. Now 32 years later, he is a success as a man, husband and father and I am wondering where the time went. I think to myself, you have only 15 to 20 years left, if you're lucky. I have never been afraid of death, only of not living but now, I am afraid of an undignified death. I don't want to end up like Ali, a shell of his former self. Not only can he not float like a butterfly, he can no longer walk. That thought makes me walk faster and further because exercise is the only known thing that can slow down the PD process. I am training for my date with death. At the moment, I think I am winning and things are looking up.

This optimism brings to mind a poem by Langston Hughes and when I arrive home, I look it up on the internet:

“Life is for the living.
Death is for the dead.
Let life be like music.
And death a note unsaid.

My mother-in-law died peacefully, asleep, sitting in her wheelchair. What a great way to go into the next stage of her journey!

Enough of this. Some good news. Today, I had a feeling that I was going to start the walk that causes me to fall down so I tried the marching tip I was given and, it worked. Instead of leaning forward, I stood straight and increased my stride and after 20 yards or so, I was walking normally - so that little deficiency has been defeated. If you are a PWP, try this technique to keep from falling while walking.

People are still reading. Thank you. Here are the statistics for last week:

1. Canada 59
2. Spain 11
3. United Kingdom 7
4. United States 7
5. Poland 2
6. Germany 1
7. Egypt 1
8. Ukraine 1

The total from the commencement of this blog is 8,568!