The Other Ridiculist

ridiculous (rĭ-dĭk′yə-ləs) adj something that is unbelievable in some way shape or form, an event worthy of memory

Parkinson's is a smarmy, chameleon-like, condition. It kind of sneaks up on you after it has destroyed 80% of your dopamine cells. Its squinty-eyed, superior attitude surfaces and you are hit with the first of its symptoms. Initially you feel a slight weakness in one hand, then one finger seems to shake when you are pointing at something and finally you don't understand why your hand seems to have a mind of its own as PD gains strength. You have been waylaid by a persistent, tactical bomb. It is ridiculously cruel in its maneuvering.

Checklist..... In the early stages it foreshadows what you can expect:

• a desert like mouth that is unaffected by water. A couple of weeks later you suffer from too much saliva.
• Cramps such as you have never experienced before - rigid leg, twisting muscle, feet turning up and inward. The pain is excruciating but you can get almost immediate relief by standing.
• Hand at rest. Can't have that. Hand starts its jig....but wait! You can stop the tremor by doing something using that hand, like squeezing a small nerf ball.
• Prescription - have some chicken soup. That can't help! Can't hurt. OK, I will try.... but..... the problem becomes trying to get the soup from bowl to mouth without shaking it off of the spoon.
• You like to talk. But your voice begins to disappear and people are constantly saying "Pardon?", so you try to speak louder but you can't sustain it.
• Even if you could be heard, you don't talk because while you know what you want to say, your brain is not receiving the signals and you can't find the words in your mental dictionary. The problem is solved by becoming a mute.
• You take medicine to control the symptoms but you have trouble swallowing them. You get them down now but what will happen in the future.
• What future? You try to remain optimistic but there are signs, signs, everywhere a sign, promising a future then blowin' your mind. It just won't show you the way. The future is a mystery wrapped in a secret that it keeps to itself and only lets you know you might get better at times, but you're not going to get well.
  
• PD, the Snidely Whiplash of diseases.