I was confused when I added the time that has passed since she left us. The calculator said 1024 days but that is far too many. It only seems that long to me and my kids but, it is shorter than forever and I can't forget our life together. I can't block her from my future. I think I must be getting better because I only get emotional periodically now but every so often golden moments, brief emotions trapped in time, bring it all back.
Yesterday, I filled the cookie jar and I remembered her joy when the first time she filled it, all for the grandchildren. The ever-present kaleidoscope of the past brought back other memories, her sweetness, her strength, her total love for her family and more and more and more, until I morphed into a whisper of tears.
Shar, you gave me forever within the days I have left.
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