"The National" had a feature on a woman who, a decade ago, was diagnosed with PD. Now she was bedridden, in pain and tired of living. She found a doctor willing to assist her in helping her to die and he did and so did she. I can't begin to imagine what she was going through. I am not sure I would even have the courage to follow her path.
My fear is that I will have to make the same decision someday.
"The National" concluded and I went to bed feeling sad and a little afraid. That feature was an ink blot on what so far had been a calm and positive journey. While lying there, thinking, unable to sleep, I realized that poor woman was only one story out of hundreds of thousands. Some, if not most, PWP never get to that stage on the PD ladder and some, if not most, lead a semi-normal life and die with dignity when their time comes.
Television tends toward the spectacular, the most extreme stories. You might recall the old saying: if a dog bites a man, that is of no interest to all but the victim, but if a man bites dog, that becomes a headline on TV news. We live in a frightened society. We fear irrational dangers. We can't help it. Television is full of violent death, robbery and mayham. The vast majority of people will go through life safely without biting a dog. The story of the poor lady who sought, and received, doctor assisted suicide was sensational, worthy of telling. It scared me, but then I realized, I am not going to have to make that decision. I began to think rationally. PD is a designer disease and no two cases are exactly the same. Some PWP may have to make the choice, but I brushed away any thoughts of such an outcome and gradually, peacefully fell into a deep sleep unhindered by ink blots.
I awoke full of energy, believing in a cure. I knew I would never have to choose an unnatural death. I worked out for about an hour and happily pulled my granddaughter in her sled to school. As they say, I don't fear death, I fear not being alive.
I choose life.
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