“O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven/ Keep me in temper: I would not be mad!
So said Shakespeare's King Lear in a moment of Lucidity. Well, your majesty, I know how you feel. Yesterday, I was tested to see if I would be a candidate for a research study on the effects of caffeine on parkinson's (I was) and one of the tests was the mini mental; although at the time, I didn't put 2 and 2 together. I had no idea that it was the mini mental until they told me my score out of 30. While driving home,it came to me: DAMN, THEY JUST GAVE ME THE MINI MENTAL and my score was 26 - not good! 27 is the threshold for no cognitive impairment. Had I realized it was the mini mental, I would have taken it more seriously.
For example, they asked me to name as many words in a minute that began with the letter "F". They should choose a different letter because the first word that popped into my mind was "fuck". Have you ever tried to think of f-words when in the back of your mind all you can think of is "f*#k" (I use symbols lest I be called a redneck). I don't think I performed well on that question. Another was drawing a cube with all lines visible. I can do that with my eyes closed, but I didn't recognize the thinking behind the task. I got all the lines correct, which is what I thought they were looking for as some kind of recognition/dexterity test, but I made it more of a rectangular shape rather than a square-sided cube. Esthetically, mine was an improvement.
26! My only consolation is that my father, who had Alzheimer's, scored 7 and proclaimed "They asked me stupid questions so I gave them stupid answers", and an elderly client who was 84 and was sharp as a tack with his score of 23.
I was involved in a law suit concerning the elderly client with the score of 23, and although the results of the mini mental would have strengthened my case, I came to the conclusion that the test results would mean nothing as it was not highly thought of by some experts (although, I can't remember the arguments against it. Is that in itself an indication of impairment?).
By not taking it seriously, I am afraid I might have caused some unreliability in their research results because the next time, I shall be prepared.
In conclusion, if I am to be labelled "mildly cognitively impaired" I will take solace from the writing of Samuel Beckett. Have you ever read Beckett's "Waiting for Godot" about two guys under a tree who are waiting for another man whose name is Godot? I have read it a couple of times to try to discern its meaning, with only minimal success, but I love the language and it is appropriate to this blog as there is reasonable evidence that one of the characters ("Lucky") suffers from parkinson's. But that is not the motivation for this entry; rather, it is motivated by my score of 26, the possibility of dementia and the reality of life. In the words of Estragon, one of the men who are waiting for Godot:
If I am losing my cognitive ability and am heading down the path to madness then let me enjoy the journey because I think there is joy in madness that only a madman knows
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