Every day I get out of bed with a headache; then my wife told me, "feet first, idiot!"

The Setting: My wife and I sleep in a huge king sized bed. I think the makers of the bed were expecting a flood because when I fully sit up on it, with my legs hanging down, my feet do not touch the floor. It is one high bed!

The characters: Neurologist, bed, blankets, me.

The Foreshadow: Some time ago, my neuro asked me if I had trouble moving in bed. I thought that was an odd question! I replied "No, not that I have noticed."

He nodded his head, looked at the computer screen showing... well, just about everything medical about me. He went to one file on the screen and typed something in. I don't know what the input was but he turned toward me and said "None?"

I wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement of surprise but I answered, "No, none."

Rising Action: I take amantandine and miripex (both max doses) 4X a day and L-dopa three times with the other two but I do not take it in the evening.

Yesterday,with some difficulty, I reached the summit of the bed and joined my wife watching our latest film fix, the Spanish drama "Grand Hotel". The program ends and it is lights out, I turned into my regular sleeping position, on my side, facing out of the bed on the right side. I awoke, on my stomach, facing inward toward my sleeping wife. I must have had a restless night.

It is 4:30 AM, my usual time to arise for the day. I try to turn over over to get back to facing outward. I can't do it. The covers seem to have a grip on me, as if they are deliberately obstructing my escape from the bed. I struggle to sit up but there is no strength in my arms. I tug at the covers and manage to get them out from under my body. I try to roll over to the edge of the bed. No dice. Rolling is out.

Can't sit up, can't roll over. What to do? What to do?

I eventually solve my dilemma by sliding my body, on my back, to the edge of the bed, one inch at a time. I reach my destination and them am confronted with a new problem. Now that I am lying on the edge, what do I do next. My left arm is too weak to lift me to a sitting position. Do I just roll off the bed? That's a long way down! I might kill myself.

Climax: Eureka! I know what I will do. I will ease my lower half, "waist down" off the bed and as that is happening my body will naturally turn over so that my trunk will facing inward and downward with my chest on the bed and I will simply back off of he bad. This I did but somehow, I don't remember how, it all happened so fast, I ended up on the floor,on my haunches with my back against my bed. I must have fallen. No harm done but noisy enough to waken my spouse.

Falling Action: I struggle to stand and my wife says, "What are you doing? Are you OK?"

"I am having a little difficulty getting out of bed. I'm OK. Go back to sleep". I get on my knees and manage to stand. I am a bit dizzy and a little embarrassed. I walk slowly, unsteadily. I close the door behind me as I leave our room and head straight for the bathroom. I need relief. I need my pills. I stuff them into my mouth and swallow them without water. One, the big one gets momentarily lodged but I manage o gulp it down.

Resolution: Now I know what the neuro was asking. It was like I was suffocating, caught in a tangle of seaweed. Just another of PD's little gifts. I don't want any more presents, thank you. My schedule is already chock-a-block.

My life needs someone to edit it!