Why?
Because gravity always wins.
I used to love running in all seasons with summer the best time and the higher the temperature, the better. I would run for miles, actually hating every step, but loving the feeling of accomplishment. I usually ran 5 days a week for a minimum of 3 miles each day. But, then the falls started. I could trip over the smallest crack or twig. After 4 serious falls, I had to give up running. My feet dragged on the ground. I was shuffling, not running.
Well, I thought, you were the provincial champion in the indoor 1500m race walk, so do that. Ha! I could barely hold the required form for about a mile but soon tired of it and besides, try race walking in the winter! Not possible.
What to do? Forget speed, I decided. Just walk a good distance. I succeeded in doing that for more than a year but then, festination! I found myself plunging forward, involuntarily, and landing face first into whatever landscape I encountered. It only happened three times, once into a snowbank, once into a cement sidewalk and once into the middle of a busy city street (fortunately it was 4 in the morning on a Sunday, not a car in sight). A feeling of falling forward haunted my every walk and I soon threw in the towel.
Finally, I began using nordic ski poles to help keep me steady. They were great, offering a difficult exercise without fear. I still noticed my balance was deteriorating but I felt secure with the poles
I should have known it would not last. This morning I stopped using the sticks at the conclusion of the exercise, carrying them in one hand up the sidewalk to my front door. Big mistake! My forward motion surged and to stop my body (and head) from hitting the cement steps, I reached out and grabbed hold of the metallic, decorative trellis that supports the roof over the steps. My forward motion checked out and diverted it into a sideways motion, slamming my face full into the metal trellis. I knew I would be damaged and I was, cuts to the bridge of my nose and longitudinally down my nose. Not a pretty sight. What exercise can I do now?
Did someone say use a bike, fool. No can do: I cannot balance a bike.
I have had to admit to myself that the reclining bike and the treadmill are the only sane answers, to which I offer the parkie's often,nagging question, "why me"?
Why not you!
A pitiful answer that makes most of us sad. But, at least we won't get hurt and maybe the following quote will cheer up some of you. It doesn't fit into the theme of this essay, but it is worth a laugh.
Ned Flanders: “You were bicycling two abreast?”
Homer Simpson: “I wish. We were bicycling to a lake.”
The Simpsons, ‘Dangerous Curves’ (Episode 2005),
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