It's no use of talking unless people understand what you say.

I had to go downtown yesterday, to the Trizac Tower. I got on the elevator with a woman. I had to go to the 3rd floor but noticed the first stop on the elevator was the 19th floor. I mumbled "wrong elevator" but it came out "rrog elvater". At first she seemed startled but then the woman asked me where I wanted to go. I turned and said "three" but, because I had excessive saliva in my mouth and because I got a little confused by the question, I slobbered out "free" with my jaw shaking and spittle forming at the corner of my mouth. She smiled kindly and pointed out the correct elevator by which time, I had recovered enough to give an intelligent smile and precise "thank you".

Dysarthria is the name given to speech disorders caused by loss of control of muscles that produce sound. Hypokinetic dysarthria is the name given to parkinson's speech problems which can include loss of volume control, harshness, difficulty changing pitch, fast talking and imprecise pronunciation. Most of the time, I sound mostly normal but other times I sound like I have the mother of all colds and I speak in a monotone and seem completely detached from what I am saying. The woman on the elevator caught me by surprise and must have thought I was not playing with a full deck. The excess of saliva (another symptom) just added to the effect (think of the Seinfeld episode in which Kramer has his mouth frozen by the dentist). It was embarrassing at the time but I will never see her again and besides I think I recovered enough to leave her with a decent, if not a great, impression.

Anyway, from now on I talk only to myself then at least I will know somebody is listening and understanding.