Leg spasm, be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so

"I went to a Gestalt therapist and said that I want to be able to at least tell my muscles that aren't involved that they don't have to go into spasms too."(Dick York)

I am just about asleep and I feel my leg muscle(s?) start to cramp and stiffen at the same time. Within nano seconds, it is in a full blown spasm, twisting away as if it is consciously, gleefully, trying to injure me. It is trying my patience. I jump out of bed, not realizing my foot has started to curve in, and I land on the outer edge, like some misconceived salchow. I almost break my ankle, but I survive to fight another day.

Except it doesn't take a day. Around 2 in the morning, it starts again. I go into the fetal position.... but it has that particular maneuver figured out and keeps on twisting; so I straighten my leg into a rigid post, hoping that will stretch the muscle into relaxation. No such luck. Finally, I lie on my back, bend both knees apart and put the soles of my feet together while pressing my hands down on thighs. I feel the muscle let go and relax. Success! I have defeated my nemesis. Victory is sweet and I lie awake enjoying its taste.

Problem is, I now have insomnia and my sleeping pill doesn't help. I turn on Third Rock From the Sun and fall asleep about the time Sally figures out men and women really are opposite sexes. Oh, for the good old comedies and dramas. I detest reality TV---almost as much as muscle spasms!




Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow

(T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Men)